Which is Worse: The Waiting or the Fear?
Posted on | June 23, 2010 | No Comments
By Holly Kerfoot
“Dead man walking!”
The feeling that this should be shouted in the newsroom when I pass by has faded, as have the murmurs of sympathy from those who – for now – will be keeping their jobs.
What remains is the uncertainty.
You see, I work on a copy desk that is being phased out. In April, we learned that Media General had decided to eliminate the 18.5 positions on the Winston-Salem Journal’s desk and split its work between “consolidated” desks in Tampa and Richmond by the end of October. We were told that five positions will be available for those who would consider moving, and the company presented its layoff-compensation package. As of mid-June, we have heard no more, except that plans are moving ahead, though more slowly than expected.
And so we follow the routine, do our jobs, and wonder.
The waiting, oh, how it wears on my soul. I have experienced waiting before, when I turned in my two-week notice and looked forward to a new job. But this is different. I look ahead and see nothing, because how can I plan when I have no idea of what the future will bring? I’d like to think I’m a shoo-in for one of the consolidated jobs, but there is no way of knowing. My 30+ years of experience may price me out of their market. I’d take the job, if it were offered, because at age 53 the bird in the hand definitely is worth more.
I have considered other fields of work – maybe something in health care – but that requires time and money for schooling, and I wouldn’t make what I earn now.
There are in-state jobs involving editing that I probably could do, but some of the expectations frighten me. The level of fear surprises me, too, and I realize the ways in which this forced change has demoralized me.
Some days, I feel some of the old excitement about what new and interesting twist fate will bring me. If I don’t get a job with MG, perhaps another paper will hire me. When I was a child, my family moved frequently, so I like exploring new towns (even if moving is a pain).
But some days it is as hard to be optimistic as it is to really care about the tasks at hand.
And so I plug along, and I wait.
– Holly Kerfoot has worked as a news copy editor at the Winston-Salem Journal in North Carolina for 11 years this go-around. And she has been laid off by its parent company, Media General, before. She was a novice copy editor at the Journal when the afternoon paper, The Sentinel, was closed in 1985.
Tags: Adapt > Commentary > Displaced Journalists > Editor > layoffs > newspaper
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