Writer’s Lifeguard: Money, Favors, Fifty Shades
Posted on | February 5, 2013 | 1 Comment
By Jules Older, Feb. 5, 2013
Anyone? Anyone?
Making Money
You may recall, in Writer’s Lifeguard 78, I announced, “My goal, my aim, my early resolution
Jules Older
for 2013 is to start making money again.”
Too early to tell if that will work, but I’ve started putting it into practice. Three examples…
1. After my ski quiz appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle (if you know something about skiing, you can take the quiz here), a PR friend wrote that she’d love it if I created a similar quiz about her client. I wrote back, in slightly different words, “If you got the money, honey, I got the time.”
2. Then, an editor friend said she’d like to consider it for a reprint in her journal. I wrote back, in slightly different words, “Money must change hands.”
3. After seeing one of our videos, another publicist suggested that Effin and I make one for her client in exchange for dinner and a night at his small resort. I wrote back, in slightly different words, “We don’t work for food.”
Personal Best
If you’ve been a Lifeguard long enough, you may recall that I have a tendency to kill off airlines whose inflight magazines are foolish enough to hire me. (If you don’t recall, I’ve attached Writers Lifeguard 7, Airline Shiva to this message.) I wrote: “Tower Air was my great triumph.” They’d sent us to do a piece on caves in Puerto Rico. “While we were in the cave, the airline folded. They had to fly us back on American.”
That was my greatest triumph. Now, it’s number two. While on a press trip to the snowy Sierra last week, I pitched a story to a ski mag. Emailed it at 10am. By the time I’d returned to my room at 4pm, the mag had folded. Try and beat that speed, Lance Armstrong!
The New Black
I am happy to say I have a regular segment on a wonderful radio program, Radio New Zealand’s Jim Mora Show. I’m their “IT Guy in San Francisco,” and I always open with a quiz question. My first segment of the year begins, “In 2012, what was the new black?”
Anyone? Anyone?
The answer is grey, as in “Fifty Shades of Grey.” In this segment, I ask and try to answer this question, “What were the three biggest Digital Age-related stories in 2012? One is educational, one musical and one literary, sort of.”
Anyone? Anyone?
Here’s my answer…
MOOCs (look it up), Gangnam Style and yes, the nearly inexplicable popularity of the “Fifty Shades” trilogy. How can so many adult women in so many places (it’s Number One in Brazil) in our post-feminist age, so adore a badly written series where women are turned on by whips and chains?
I asked everybody I knew, got a zillion different answers, and then got the right one. It’s from Katie Beers, “The Wake Up Call on 107.9” in Sacramento, California.
Anyone? Anyone?
Katie said, “I understand it. Fifty Shades is about an only slightly above-average-looking woman who is worshipped by a drop-dead gorgeous, emotionally damaged billionaire — and only she can heal him. And he is obsessed with her safety, doesn’t want her to cook, clean or work, manages to make her orgasm every single time they have sex, and her pleasure is his primary focus.”
Oh.
— jules
Jules Older (amazingly, no relation to Susan Older) is a freelance travel writer, the author of children’s books, a speaker, a broadcaster, a consultant and, with Effin Older, the creator of the iPhone/iPad apps: San Francisco Restaurants and Auckland (New Zealand) Insider. Learn more about Jules here.
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February 5th, 2013 @ 1:24 PM
Amen Mr. Older! As a belated New Year’s resolution, I’ll be affixing this article to the wall above my computer with a “just say no” sticker.